All the malarky about gas.....

What a day!!! Technically, the day started yesterday when I made the mistake of thinking my body was still mine to do with as I pleased. Which means, where I can normally consume quite a lot of food under five minutes, I can't any more. It's a bad idea in general.

Apparently the progesterone level is quite high while you're pregnant and this makes all the smooth muscles like your digestive and respiratory system work very slow. Which means food spends more than the normal time sitting inside you, so that all the nutrients can be drained from it. It's a good idea to eat often and in small quantities the nutrients you need. It's a bad idea to indulge those cravings you have, not that I've had many.

So that heartburn I was complaining about yesterday was a result of my belief in my own invincibility. Keep forgetting I'm old and pregnant. Things just don't work like they used to. I was near tears from the pain of the heartburn. Four tums and I went to sleep thinking that would take care of it. Not quite.....

I woke up this morning with a bad stomach ache. The pain was internal, it felt like it was on the surface like my stomach was trying to push its way into my ribcage. So I called the Birthing Center and spoke to the receptionist who took a message. The head midwife called me back immediately. We chatted. I told her my symptoms and she said laughed and said it sounds like I've got gas. I know, don't we all wish we could get that diagnosis from the doctor. You're not fat, you're just bloated with gas.

The gas was so bad that I actually did look like I might be pregnant. I'm not showing yet, only the gas. I tired drinking a bottle of ginger ale. I don't recommend drinking it as fast as I did. It actually is quite painful trying to drink all that carbonated liquid. Not much burping. I tried going to the bathroom and inducing burps. Very little effective results. So in the end I went to my dad, borrowed some money (I'm sadly broke after paying rent and oil bill since Tom is still out of work) and got myself some Gas-X (maximum strength).

I have never been more happy to sit at my desk and rudely burp the contents of my stomach. All I can say is, the folks around me should be thankful it didn't come out the other way. People who tell you that pregnancy is a beautiful thing are liars!! It's not beautiful, it's just downright disgusting! Whether you care of not, I think I'm almost gas free. I'm pain free at least.