Five weeks and counting....

I'm not too happy to say that I've managed to gain 5 lbs since my last visit. These days I wake up with the feeling that my son is getting bigger every day! Far as I'm concerned, his lease is up in five weeks so he better be packing his bags and coming out soon! Well not too soon, just soon enough!

Today I woke up despite a busy weekend and made it all the way to the ferry only to have to turn back around and come back home. Why? Because my feet have swollen to the size of a potato! I look at my feet and lament the fact that the beautiful lines and contours of my once lovely petite feet have been replaced by swollen toes and deformed clubs that are supposed to resemble ankles and shins! Ok, so my description is perhaps a bit too excessive but that doesn't change the fact that it's getting more and more uncomfortable every day.

He's been very quiet today. I'm thankful for the brief reprieve. But then again, the fact that he's always moving is a blessing. Now I'm just impatiently waiting for my son to make his entrance into this world.

His father finally managed to get all the problem with the furniture sorted out and now, Christopher Madison has a room. It's very strange going into his room and seeing it. It's almost as if we have prepared this room for another person but don't know when he'll get here. His dresser is ready. His chest has all his feeding, bedding, bathing, cleaning essentials. The dresser has all his clothes all neatly organized. There are pictures on the wall of his parents and grandparents. The glider ottaman sits in one corner by the window that over looks the roof of the house next door. It could be a bad view if not for the trees that create a lovely shade over the neighbor's roof, not to mention irritate my allergies with the pollen. Next to the window on the opposite side, sits his crib. We're waiting to put up the wall decors so the pictures will have to wait until then.

I was just thinking how much this later stage of pregnancy resembles the play "Waiting for Godot" except I hope that I'm not pointlessly waiting. I know he's coming. I know he's inside of me, alive, living, another human being but sometimes I still find it difficult to believe he's real. I've been told by friends who are parents that life will change, but I can't help but wonder how this change will come about. How will I deal with the demand of a young infant? I'm not good with children. Truthfully, they don't like me and I don't like them...so I wonder if that would carry over to my own son. Would he respond to me differently? Does it matter that he's been with me so long? Will he really know the sound of my voice? I can only wonder at what it will be like when we finally meet in the light day....what will he look like? Who will he become? So many questions....hopefully time stretches out before us long enough to find out all the answers.