Seeing the world through CMC's eyes

Probably one of the most amazing things so far is watching my son discover something as mundane as his feet and hands. He learned how to finally reach out and grab with his hands. I was so pleased. How simple and silly it all really is, yet it's so much more.

Today we had a late lunch with some good friends of ours. I think they are probably as much in love with my son as we are. But then if you ever met CMC you'll know that he's pretty easy to love. He's a really good baby. After lunch we took CMC and went grocery shopping. I love my Baby Bajorn carrier and finally got to use it for the second time. My son has put on weight. He's probably 2 feet by now and weighs over 12 lbs. I figure, carrying him around on the Baby Bajorn will be good exercise and I love the fact that my hands are free. It's the closest I'll come to what it was like carrying him around inside of me.

What amazed me is how when I walked down the aisle of sodas his eyes just got wide and he was staring so intently at all the colorful bottles. He finds the most boring and mundane things interesting. But then to him the world is brand new. It's an interesting experience, seeing the world through his eyes, full of wonder and fascination. Somewhere along the way I got old and the world around me lost its enchantment and now watching my son grow has brought some of that magic back.

So life does change with a baby but I think we get to decide how that change will affect us. Perhaps that's the real lesson in all this I think. Well, enough said, he's stirring and I'm ready to collapse from lack of sleep. If I don't go to bed soon, I might not make it church tomorrow at all.

The nursing mularky

It's amazing how pregnancy presents all these changes not only to your body but your life as well. Let's not forget that after it's over, you're presented with a really cute little human who comes with a whole lot of hidden ammunition to make you lose your mind! If you've never babysat or played with children (like me) or don't really like them much (again like me) suddenly you find yourself lost in this strange land where you smell like sweet sticky white liquid that spurts out of your otherwise useless boobs. And here you always thought they were ornamental things that are generally meant to attract men. Sure, in some part of your brain you knew they are meant to nurse a child or two, but that was never the one thing you really thought about much.

The pregnancy may have enhanced your meagre endowments or super sized your endowments. In my case, I was afraid I'd grow too large but thankfully I have my mother's DNA so I didn't really change size at all. Though now I've discovered that I have gone from a 36C to a 38D. This I find frightening. I think I liked being the size I was. Someone, I think the lactation consultant that I spoke with after giving birth (who also happened to be one of my birthing assistants) said that I could expect them to feel like hot, swollen melons. That is the most unpleasant feeling to wake up to specially when you're sleep deprived and your nipples hurt at the same time because the baby is crying.

But see that's where the whole random creation vs intelligent design again comes into play. You're sleep deprived, slowly getting cranky because you don't want to wake up and feed this howling infant. But you have no choice because your nipples hurt like hell and your breasts feel as if they are about to explode. Then you take the howling infant in your arms and watching him root and cry at the same time. He sees those huge things in range (when he does learn to focus and take in his surroundings) and then he spends a few seconds looking like an cross between a bird and a pterodactyl about to ravage you. If you're me, you start laughing despite being irritated, sleep deprived, and in pain. Then he starts to eat and you just don't care about all the complications.

Then he discovers the whole spitting up thing and most of that yucky sticky liquid ends up on his face, your clothes, skin, and everywhere else. It wasn't enough that he pooped and peed on you but now he must initiate you into this world of mothers where you smell like him, baby and breast milk. I'm still of the opinion that stuff is gross even if I'm the one who's making it. But it's better than formula and free. So go me! Now that my son is a month old, I've discovered that I really need to get some nursing clothes. So much for avoiding having to buy any clothes for this pregnancy. I nearly got away without having to buy a thing.

In conclusion, babies are expensive but they are too cute to return to the sender...not to mention that doing so is considered homicide by society. Don't get me wrong, I consider myself fortunate that I am able to breastfeed my son but I never said I had to like all the complications that come with it. Speaking of which, this daisy needs to go milk herself before I explode!

From Baby oh Baby!

4 Weeks! Done!

So CMC is now 4 weeks old. In another day, he'll be a month old and soon we'll start counting his age in months. Out of curiosity I measured him last week and it seems he's nearly 22 inches. I'm pretty sure he's about the same weight as Cooper. Then I started looking through all his pictures. Originally I meant to post pictures of his nursery but then in between feeding him and looking at his pictures, I realized how much my little boy has changed.

Today he started noticing his toys for the first time. I put him in his bouncer and he noticed the little rattling monkey the music playing lion. So we tried out his little tummy time gym. He's changing so fast, much faster than Cooper. I probably shouldn't compare my cat to my son but they are the only babies that I raised/am raising so that's my only point of reference. Just made me a little sad since I have only another month and a half with him before I have to go back to work.

A friend referred me to Babycenter.com where you can get week by week update of your baby's progress, rather what the progress should be. It seems that week five should be a real smile. My camera will be waiting to capture that first smile. Until then, enjoy this compilation of photos from his first month.

From Baby oh Baby!

Parenting on the go....

So yesterday we had to go to BabysRus and get some groceries among other things. By the time CMC was fed, changed, and packed up to go it was nearly noon. The plan was to stop by BabysRus and pick up a nasal aspirator then drive to Stop n Shop and pick up some cereal. We were going to go to the mall, run some errands in Macy's and then have lunch before heading off to Shoprite for groceries. That was the plan.

By the time we got to Macy's that plan changed. Right among the luggage section, there was a loud ripping noise and a foul smell that said the baby was doing his business and would need to be changed. So off we went to look for a restroom. Not my idea since I don't like public restrooms and avoid using them whenever I can. Then he started to fuss and his eyes started to open.

Mind you, the reason we went to BabysRus in the first place was because CMC has a bit of a cold. So he was a just a little cranky. Sleeping baby in public is easy to deal with. People ooh and ahh over them and you just smile and wave and go your merry way. Then I had a brilliant idea to slip into the fitting room and give him a quick change. I happen to be in the section where the extra large women's clothings were and thought, I could grab an item and pretend to go try it on. Then I looked at me and the clothes and thought, why bother....who would be convinced looking at me that I'm trying on the clothes.

So I just high tailed it to the fitting room. By then, my poor son had started crying a little hysterically. Mind you, my son doesn't really cry or fuss much unless he wants changing or feeding, mostly when he just wants food. So I had to do a quick change and then breastfeed. I fed him until he was sufficiently satisfied and then we left the fitting room. Since he didn't want to be put back into his car seat, I had to work out how to maneuver a stroller while holding a baby, not easy when you're new at this sort of thing.

So lunch idea got tossed because I just didn't feel comfortable carrying him through the mall. We did a quick stop in the Wendy's drive thru and then off to Shoprite to finish our errands.

We had decided from the very beginning that we weren't going to be the kinds of parents whose lives end the moment their children are born. We are on the go kind of people and being housebound 24/7 would be hard on both of us. So yesterday was my first experience of on the go parenting. I also learned that when you have a cute baby to feed, you can get away with anything.

Well my son is fussing, think he wants food or changing. Then we're off to the park for a stroll...

Daddy's Story (Part 3 - Labour)

The main issue as we went forward was that she was very tired. So they gave here a mild sedative that would help her sleep for a couple of hours. The contractions still woke her up but as soon as they were done she slept. Throughout this time I was again largely sidelined. When the contractions came she wanted her aunt's back rubs. Anything I did was 'irritating'. It was a pretty lonely couple of hours. Watching her aunt and my MIL do the job that was supposed to be mine.

"Update? Nothing to report. They're going 2 check her progress @ 8pm" 6:16 PM Jun 6th from txt

At this point i really should mention out birthing team. Andrea was our midwife, a blessing since she was the one we've seen most throughout the pregnancy. Sharon was comfortable with her and she really understood Sharon. She was assisted by Lexie, an RN and a birthing assisstant. Lexie was a real Godsend. She truly understood Sharon and was the one person who was able to get her to focus through her contractions. She really was amazing. Then there was Paula, trainee birthing assistant who was a huge help too. What I'm trying to say is that the team at the Brooklyn Birthing center were really wonderful throughout. It was Paula who, when my wife was being particularly harsh to me reassured me that it was normal, she'd been the same way with her husband when she was in labour and that it wouldn't last.

So we had decided to check progress at 8pm. Because of the risk of infection they couldn't do too many internal exams so there was a degree of eagerness as we waited to see how we were doing

"Update; STILL ONLY 5cm! 4 1/2 hours and nothing to show for it. talk about demoralising." 7:49 PM Jun 6th from txt

That was a kick in the gut. after 4 1/2 hours we'd made no progress. I really think that news undid any benefit we may have gained from the sleep. From this point on she was pretty much convinced that it was all for nothing and she couldn't do it. The decision was made that if, in 3 hours there was still no more progress we'd transfer to Maimonides hospital. With her water broken and the risk of infection time was an issue. SO for the next 3 hours she'd be walking and moving around as much as possible in the hope we'd make progress. This was where Lexie was really awesome, without her I don't think we'd have made it. She was able to work well with Sharon to help her work throught the contractions. but we were working against exhaustion and the fact that she was convinced she was making no progress. it was a tough couple of hours

"Tired and frustrated. She s in pain, exhausted, drained n miserable. And i can t do anything to help." 9:19 PM Jun 6th from txt

At least, by this point she was allowing me to help her through this but she was so tired at this point she was pretty much at the end of her strength. We reached the point around this time when it looked like we were done trying to do this naturally at the birthing center. She had lain down for a couple of minutes and now refused to get up and try any more. We tried to persuade her to go 1 more hour and we'd do a progress check but she wasn't hearing any of it. Andrea actually reached the ppint of decision. "that's it, we're done here" funnily enough it was NYCs potholes that decided the issue, when Sharon asked if we'd call an ambulance and was told that we'd have to drive since it wasn't an emergency she suddenly found new resolve. She'd found the car so horribly uncomfortable she didn't want to face it again (either that or she thought my driving was REALLY bad!). so she agreed to try for 1 more hour.

So it was that at 10:15pm Andrea did an exam and...

"Progress!! 8-9cm dilated!" 10:16 PM Jun 6th from txt

Well that was great news! The mood changed here, and if she hadn't been so very exhausted by now I think we'd have been in very good shape for the next phase.

the last cm was stubborn, Sharon was tired and really wanted to push

"Almost completely dilated. Not long now" 10:46 PM Jun 6th from txt

There was some light hearted banter around this time as to whether he'd be a Saturday or Sunday baby.

to be continued...